Here's what they did to you

They had loud fast moving commercials during your favorite television shows that told you to "turn up your doing dial". You ran down to the giant orange store and bought all the plants you could fit into your car. You got those suckers right into your dirt and stood with pride at the end, sweat and soil across your brow, just like the guy on tv.
Then, May in NE carried out the usual punishment for your miseducation. And, the big orange store will get another handful of your hard earned cash. Just like they planned.
Sorry, man, I told ya! You looked at me like I was a fool for waiting and now your plants are dead. Will ya listen to me now?
Don't buy anything from the box stores. You're bringing disease to your garden and to your neighbors, too. That blight last summer? Didn't start at your LOCAL greenhouse. Those plants you bought spent time in a shipping container with thousands of other plants. No one was checking them to remove a diseased plant right away before it infected other plants. At a small, local greenhouse you can be assured that someone is walking up and down those aisles checking plants on a daily basis.
Get the farmer's almanac or similar calendar. The calendar doesn't lie! Here in MA, we can't plant tenders until the end of May. Period. It does not matter if we have hot weather in May, we will always have a frost before the end of the month. If you put tomatoes out before the last week of May, you better have a really good cover system (and even the best are not foolproof).
Turn off your tv. Seriously, turn it off and get out.

Jumping in

Well, hell, why not?
I'm unemployed. They're underemployed. Might as well use what you know and give it your best effort, right? I'm taking my unemployment compensation this week and investing it (small as it is) into the possibility of once again owning my own business. I can run it like nobody's business, crunching numbers and solving problems, but I will need some push to stay motivated in bringing in new business. That's where I tend to flounder. I get comfy, even lazy. When I was selling greeting cards, I did well and then just stopped. Bored. Next!
Attention span issues aside, we're going to give it a go and see what we're capable of.
After all, I am a "Certified Dirt Worshipper". Can't go letting that education go to waste. (thanks, Dad)
Giddyup!

True Story

Yesterday, when I lifted the rear door of the Jeep to put the recycling bins in, I saw Dedee Pfeiffer's boobs. No lie. There they were, scarcely disguised behind a pair of heart suspenders. The word PLAYBOY is neon pink/orange nearly blinds me. What the hell?
Yep, and upon closer inspection, I discover three more mags just like it, all from 1998-2002. So, I wonder, why are there four Playboys from Jeremy's collection in the back of my Jeep? Was this a conspiracy to embarrass me, a practical joke? I hope so! It would have been very funny if someone else had discovered them... like my mother, or one of the kids. Ha ha funny stuff. I text Jeremy to ask why he put them there. He has no idea what I'm talking about. Uh oh. Who did it then? I ask N and he says he doesn't know. He's a pretty stealthy liar, so I walk away doubtful that I got the correct info. J is already at school, so upon being asked a second time, N say J did it. Hmmm.... throwing it J's way could get you a nice round bruise on your arm... could this be the truth?
In the end, it was N who did it. Apparently, the J and N had a stash of their father's mags in their bathroom and D found it. He was making a lot of noise about them (I never heard a word, but then again,. there are so many words to hear) and had to be silenced. So, N was to hide them from D. J and N decide this is the only way, because the mouth of D cannot be silenced, even with duct tape and threats. (they've tried both) N thought it a good idea to throw them into the back of my Jeep. Why? I don't know. He doesn't know. He's 14 and his hormones have taken over. It's kind of funny to watch them be so ridiculous. And, a little scary.
In the end, Jeremy didn't notice the mags were missing and didn't care to get them back. "too many fake blondes with fake tits. no tiny asians."
Great, there's another 5 years of therapy.
Isn't family life fun?

a couple of points I'd like to make

First. I think the ERA has ruined women and families. Anybody want to compare jouvenile crime rates from 1950 to those of today? There's no point. Divorce rates? Depression? Those equal rights are so not equal because the creator made us different, not equal at all. Anybody who says men and women are the same is just plain wrong.
Do you know what that amendment really did to us, ladies? I'll tell you. It allowed us to a man's job AND a woman's job. Now we get to do both. Oh, joy, twice the responsibility and work.
I know, I know. I wouldn't take it back. I like that I'm a tough broad who can dig a ditch (literally) and whip up a home cooked meal that'll leave you licking your chops for days. The ERA changed America for the good and the bad. I know that the good is REALLY FUCKING GOOD, but the bad is REALLY FUCKING BAD, too.
Second. I want to tell my girls who are in the throe's of drama and anxiety that it's going to be ok. We're going to get through it all together. Before you know it, we will be looking back at this time and be proud of all we have conquered and risen from. It's going to take time and it's going to feel like forever, but it will happen and it will be so worth the wait. Make a list. Check it a billion times. Look forward. You're a badass and no one can take from you what you truly want and deserve. I love you!

good manners. self control.

"How can one hope to attain a high degree of advancement in life, in character-building, or in all-around success, without complete control of personal habits, both physical and mental? The truly successful man has all his faculties under control. He has a strong grip on himself, and holds to his task of self-government under good fortune and bad, through prosperity and adversity. "


Good advice 110 years ago, good advice now.
Stop with the "can't" and just do it. Or don't. But, let it be your choice.

Charles Bukowski

"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must live."

Fly

Yesterday, I went out into the garden with my coffee and checked my cel phone for the time what seemed like an hour later... 2:19. I had gone back and forth to get water and tools from the greenhouse and did some digging in the dirt and completely lost the hours. Love those moments!
I have to confess, I have a lot of them these days. This last year of unemployment has changed time for me. I live on school hours because of the kids, but on the days they aren't there, I am just oblivious. If you know me at all, this is a great achievement! While others are making resolutions to work harder and do more, I am trying to slow down, loosen up, do less. So far, I'm keeping my promises to myself. Isn't it about fucking time?!
This week, A and I went up to Brattleboro, Vt for a day of fabulous views, a super quaint downtown complete with a hot boy in a cool store(he said we can't live there), records, books, *toys*, beads, googul and yummy yummy Thai Bamboo lunch. Whoofreakingwho! Such a long time coming and so worth the wait! Another promise to myself, kept. I do not whine about not getting time for myself any more. I TAKE time for myself. No questions, no guilt. I work hard, I deserve to play sometimes, too. I get what I need, and a lot of what I want, too, these days.


Here is some advice I got a few years ago from an old friend. I took it and ran...
Don't stew and hate your own life because of what others "do" to you or "make" you feel.
Own your shit!
Every single breath is a choice by you, so don't let anyone elses plan ruin yours. Just don't forget that you won't be the only one out there getting what you want. Don't take compromise as a failure to get what you want. Look at it as an opportunity to do right by someone else, above your own desires.
Never confuse your wants with your needs.
Never break a promise to yourself.
If your intentions are good, good things happen.
Karma isn't bs, don't joke about that shit, LIVE IT.
Smile, it makes you look prettier.


Now, that friend completely screwed me over before moving across the country to destroy a new set of lives. I did not think she was a good mother, wife, or friend. But the advice she gave (and never took) was always stellar.