I don't write anymore. Not sure why. Time is a great excuse, but it's the one I despise most, and it's a lie. There's always time for what you want to make time for. It's the juice that's been missing. Plenty to say, the words just never being able to rise up. Til right now.
I've got myself a job that I hate in a place that I don't belong. I've got a paycheck and benefits. Yippiefuckingkaiyay. I've also now got the goal to find a new job. Maybe one that isn't so soul sucking. With paid holidays and a blue cross card, please.
My family is growing up and big changes are coming. J is facing a trip to Texas that he doesn't want to take. He's been trying to come up with every scary fact that a mother would cower from. Not working. And, he's still not working, so it's not looking good for him. He is finally trying to make contacts, but the effort may be too little too late when it comes to school. His diploma is questionable and I feel it's time to line him up for some tough love. Sometimes, people need that toughness to foster their own.
I seem to be the one who ends up doling out the tough love. It's my lot in life to have the brutal honesty gene. I see the hurt and anger on someone I love's face... but, I have to know that it's the right thing to do to help foster a change. Who is here to give me some of that? I wouldn't mind getting that push once or twice instead of giving it. I think. (too much)