Wednesday, July 21, 2010

man oh man

I am overwhelmed with testosterone. OVER-FUCKING-WHELMED.
We are how ever many weeks into summer vacation and I feel like I have to be atleast a mile down the road to breath any real breaths. The ones I take here now are short and shallow and not life-giving at all. I am crushed to the floor and ground with their boasting, needing, agressing, dripping selves over and over all day and into the night. They seek me out so often, that I am reduced to taking nightly "baths", where sometimes I just run the water to be able to sit alone in a room for a half hour. The one weapon I have against their constant approach is my naked body. The threat of such a thing keeps them well at bay. Maybe I should become a nudist.
That'll teach 'em.
Nope, nope it won't. The fact is, this is the reality for a mother of three boys at the ages mine are, living the life I live. I find guilt, naturally, in my hiding in the tub. Of course, I should not feel guilt at all, instead, I should be patting myself on the back for giving myself these moments and not strangling those boys. I'm not sure (MOM) where the guilt comes from, but it always comes.
I need a day off from the never ending need machine and I will take it, guilt free. Not hearing the noise from the other side of the bathroom walls makes it a whole lot easier to appreciate the time off, especially if there's no false nudity involved.
Or laundry and dirty dishes, none of that either.

3 comments:

Ms.C said...

I don't have all the boys to deal with, but I've been feeling the SAME way! My parents never saw me during the summer, I was never home! But yet my two (and friends)are always right there... just around every corner. Don't they have some place else to go?! Maybe we've just made it too comfortable for them Kerry.
Lots of breathes... and baths... we'll make it through! Good luck!

Sheryl at Providence Acres Farm said...

I feel that way sometimes! My 25 yr old son is still living at home with hubby and I but daughter has been gone for several years now. one of our two cats is male and so is our big dog. Abby, the kitten, and I are the only girls here! I can always escape into my garden where the boys daren't go for fear of being asked to WEED! or go for a long walk in the wilderness, ostensibly to collect seed or wildcraft things. I can go shopping too at girly or craft stores to get away.

I like the bath idea :-)

A Better Version of Me said...

Well, might as well continue to use my naked body as a weapon... although the outcome of these battles was a lot more fun when I was younger and using my "weapon" against cute boys :)