Tuesday, April 27, 2010

good manners. self control.

"How can one hope to attain a high degree of advancement in life, in character-building, or in all-around success, without complete control of personal habits, both physical and mental? The truly successful man has all his faculties under control. He has a strong grip on himself, and holds to his task of self-government under good fortune and bad, through prosperity and adversity. "

Good advice 110 years ago, good advice now.
Stop with the "can't" and just do it. Or don't. But, let it be your choice.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Charles Bukowski

"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must live."

Thursday, April 22, 2010


Yesterday, I went out into the garden with my coffee and checked my cel phone for the time what seemed like an hour later... 2:19. I had gone back and forth to get water and tools from the greenhouse and did some digging in the dirt and completely lost the hours. Love those moments!
I have to confess, I have a lot of them these days. This last year of unemployment has changed time for me. I live on school hours because of the kids, but on the days they aren't there, I am just oblivious. If you know me at all, this is a great achievement! While others are making resolutions to work harder and do more, I am trying to slow down, loosen up, do less. So far, I'm keeping my promises to myself. Isn't it about fucking time?!
This week, A and I went up to Brattleboro, Vt for a day of fabulous views, a super quaint downtown complete with a hot boy in a cool store(he said we can't live there), records, books, *toys*, beads, googul and yummy yummy Thai Bamboo lunch. Whoofreakingwho! Such a long time coming and so worth the wait! Another promise to myself, kept. I do not whine about not getting time for myself any more. I TAKE time for myself. No questions, no guilt. I work hard, I deserve to play sometimes, too. I get what I need, and a lot of what I want, too, these days.

Here is some advice I got a few years ago from an old friend. I took it and ran...
Don't stew and hate your own life because of what others "do" to you or "make" you feel.
Own your shit!
Every single breath is a choice by you, so don't let anyone elses plan ruin yours. Just don't forget that you won't be the only one out there getting what you want. Don't take compromise as a failure to get what you want. Look at it as an opportunity to do right by someone else, above your own desires.
Never confuse your wants with your needs.
Never break a promise to yourself.
If your intentions are good, good things happen.
Karma isn't bs, don't joke about that shit, LIVE IT.
Smile, it makes you look prettier.

Now, that friend completely screwed me over before moving across the country to destroy a new set of lives. I did not think she was a good mother, wife, or friend. But the advice she gave (and never took) was always stellar.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


Yesterday, I watched you pull into the school parking lot. You were driving kind of fast and you were on your cel phone. You nearly hit the blue Honda when you pulled into the parking space. I watched you fumble with you keys and your purse as you got out of your SUV, at one point holding your keys in your teeth so that you could take off your sweater...that little phone wedged between your ear and your shoulder the whole time. I stood behind you in line and overheard your conversation, a lot of snarky she and he and hahaha. I had to duck from being hit in the face when you waved to your son. You brushed my shoulder and apologized, immediately letting the person on the phone know that you did this and how funny it was. hahaha You whispered "hi" to your boy and rushed him out the door through the throng of parents, into the parking lot and into your SUV. You drove out of that parking lot, still on your cel phone. You never took one minute to greet your child and ask him about his day.
Do you have any idea how you must be making your son feel? I'll tell you this, I am only an observer and it hurt me to watch you. I can only imagine it hurts tenfold when it is you who is being ignored by the one person whose love you should be able to count on at the end of a long day at school.
Shame on you, lady. Put your damn cel phone away and be present in your own life.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


sit up straight
eat more vegi's
go for a walk
sleep enough
breath, and breath again
see the wide view
stop at one cup, one glass
drink enough water
watch your mouth
stop worrying so much