Yesterday, I went out into the garden with my coffee and checked my cel phone for the time what seemed like an hour later... 2:19. I had gone back and forth to get water and tools from the greenhouse and did some digging in the dirt and completely lost the hours. Love those moments!
I have to confess, I have a lot of them these days. This last year of unemployment has changed time for me. I live on school hours because of the kids, but on the days they aren't there, I am just oblivious. If you know me at all, this is a great achievement! While others are making resolutions to work harder and do more, I am trying to slow down, loosen up, do less. So far, I'm keeping my promises to myself. Isn't it about fucking time?!
This week, A and I went up to Brattleboro, Vt for a day of fabulous views, a super quaint downtown complete with a hot boy in a cool store(he said we can't live there), records, books, *toys*, beads, googul and yummy yummy Thai Bamboo lunch. Whoofreakingwho! Such a long time coming and so worth the wait! Another promise to myself, kept. I do not whine about not getting time for myself any more. I TAKE time for myself. No questions, no guilt. I work hard, I deserve to play sometimes, too. I get what I need, and a lot of what I want, too, these days.
Here is some advice I got a few years ago from an old friend. I took it and ran...
Don't stew and hate your own life because of what others "do" to you or "make" you feel.
Own your shit!
Every single breath is a choice by you, so don't let anyone elses plan ruin yours. Just don't forget that you won't be the only one out there getting what you want. Don't take compromise as a failure to get what you want. Look at it as an opportunity to do right by someone else, above your own desires.
Never confuse your wants with your needs.
Never break a promise to yourself.
If your intentions are good, good things happen.
Karma isn't bs, don't joke about that shit, LIVE IT.
Smile, it makes you look prettier.
Now, that friend completely screwed me over before moving across the country to destroy a new set of lives. I did not think she was a good mother, wife, or friend. But the advice she gave (and never took) was always stellar.