Put down that pill bottle and let it be. Let that kid go through the tough stages and learn and grow. Do the hard thing and push on through. What's different from needing to drink 14 beers every day or needing to pop 14 pills? Nothing but a doctor who drives a mercedes and lives in a bigger house than you and some laws made to make sure they keep on making money.
It's ok to question what they tell you.
Go on now, put some light back in those eyes, will ya?
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Isn't that an old Eagles song?
When somebody loves you...
they accept you, all of you, even the crappy parts of your personality that show up from time to time.
they accept you, all of you, even the crappy parts of your personality that show up from time to time.
Monday, August 1, 2011
must I?
Had another great party this weekend. So fun! We had great food, great drinks, great laughs. An old friend came with her man of the month and her son, who was shy at first, but them ran, swam and even played drums with the tribe...for a minute, anyway.
You ever have one of those moments where you think that if you had the balls there would be an intervention right fucking now? I wish I were sober enough at that moment to say something more than "sorry" and "goodbye". Her date left, and I mean.. poof!... disappeared. We live in the middle of nowhere and this guy just couldn't take one more minute, so he high tailed it out of town. No goodbyes, no I don't feel well or I have to be somewhere else, just ran for it! I don't blame him. My friend was cocktailing and getting louder with each cup. Which is why I always offer to make drinks... I like to control the alcohol level. Hers was light, but she had a six pack hidden that she was chasing the tequila iced teas with. As soon as she figured out he was gone, she proceeded to announce that her date had ditched her to anyone in earshot and packed up her kid and dragged him out of there. Poor kid had made friends and was about to sit in on a session with the tribe. Not for one second did she consider his feelings. What it must be like to have your mother put on a dramatic scene and then drag you away from any fun you might be having.
I thought about that off and on all night. It didn't ruin my fun, but it made me think a lot about my parenting style. I get tisk tisks and eye rolls from other parents all the time, but it's the one area of my life that I have felt like a success in and I know damn well it's not luck that my kids are the well adjusted, friendly, polite young men that they are. Perfect, they are not. I chased my oldest and his boys away from the beer cooler more than once Saturday night.
What the hell is my point? I don't know, the coffee is finally kicking in, fog lifting. I just woke up thinking about how glad I was that even though there is angst in my house, I am fortunate to be able to have conversation with my kids, all the time, about everything. It's not forced, we don't call a meeting. They tell me how they fell, what they think.. and I listen. I tell them how I feel and what I think. We agree, we don't. I actually care how they feel about things, and adjust my actions for them often. I don't think that I'm the parent and it's my way of the highway. Their perspective matters to me, and they know it.
You ever have one of those moments where you think that if you had the balls there would be an intervention right fucking now? I wish I were sober enough at that moment to say something more than "sorry" and "goodbye". Her date left, and I mean.. poof!... disappeared. We live in the middle of nowhere and this guy just couldn't take one more minute, so he high tailed it out of town. No goodbyes, no I don't feel well or I have to be somewhere else, just ran for it! I don't blame him. My friend was cocktailing and getting louder with each cup. Which is why I always offer to make drinks... I like to control the alcohol level. Hers was light, but she had a six pack hidden that she was chasing the tequila iced teas with. As soon as she figured out he was gone, she proceeded to announce that her date had ditched her to anyone in earshot and packed up her kid and dragged him out of there. Poor kid had made friends and was about to sit in on a session with the tribe. Not for one second did she consider his feelings. What it must be like to have your mother put on a dramatic scene and then drag you away from any fun you might be having.
I thought about that off and on all night. It didn't ruin my fun, but it made me think a lot about my parenting style. I get tisk tisks and eye rolls from other parents all the time, but it's the one area of my life that I have felt like a success in and I know damn well it's not luck that my kids are the well adjusted, friendly, polite young men that they are. Perfect, they are not. I chased my oldest and his boys away from the beer cooler more than once Saturday night.
What the hell is my point? I don't know, the coffee is finally kicking in, fog lifting. I just woke up thinking about how glad I was that even though there is angst in my house, I am fortunate to be able to have conversation with my kids, all the time, about everything. It's not forced, we don't call a meeting. They tell me how they fell, what they think.. and I listen. I tell them how I feel and what I think. We agree, we don't. I actually care how they feel about things, and adjust my actions for them often. I don't think that I'm the parent and it's my way of the highway. Their perspective matters to me, and they know it.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
happy place
This year's veg garden. There's a separate squash/melon garden, but it's not pretty, so I didn't take a picture of it. I cannot wait for tomatoes to start turning color... especially since the sharpie-on-wood labeling system I used faded with the sun before there were flowers on the plants! I love surprises!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
toot!
Yesterday, getting ready for his job interview, J was bemoaning the end of his childhood... "I can't believe it over!"
"Thanks, Mom, my childhood was the best! You made it awesome."
Boy, did I need this moment.
"Thanks, Mom, my childhood was the best! You made it awesome."
Boy, did I need this moment.
Monday, July 18, 2011
pondering
Life. It's meaning. When you don't have religion, this is bound to find you. Or maybe you just know. I don't. I mean, I know what's important. Family. To love and be loved. To do good. Is that all I'm supposed to do with my time here on earth? Is it really that simple?
One thing I know for sure, is this. We really only have ourselves to answer to. We might disappoint or hurt others, they may or may not forgive us. Life goes on. And, when your own heart breaks, it's really up to you how that is going to affect you, today and in the future. Right? Or, are we at the mercy of those around us to the point that we will treat others in a way that is derived from these experiences... without thought or responsibility? We are constantly being reprogrammed by our moments. By words, actions... our own, and others.
So deep this morning!
One thing I know for sure, is this. We really only have ourselves to answer to. We might disappoint or hurt others, they may or may not forgive us. Life goes on. And, when your own heart breaks, it's really up to you how that is going to affect you, today and in the future. Right? Or, are we at the mercy of those around us to the point that we will treat others in a way that is derived from these experiences... without thought or responsibility? We are constantly being reprogrammed by our moments. By words, actions... our own, and others.
So deep this morning!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)