PUT THE PHONE AWAY

Yesterday, I watched you pull into the school parking lot. You were driving kind of fast and you were on your cel phone. You nearly hit the blue Honda when you pulled into the parking space. I watched you fumble with you keys and your purse as you got out of your SUV, at one point holding your keys in your teeth so that you could take off your sweater...that little phone wedged between your ear and your shoulder the whole time. I stood behind you in line and overheard your conversation, a lot of snarky she and he and hahaha. I had to duck from being hit in the face when you waved to your son. You brushed my shoulder and apologized, immediately letting the person on the phone know that you did this and how funny it was. hahaha You whispered "hi" to your boy and rushed him out the door through the throng of parents, into the parking lot and into your SUV. You drove out of that parking lot, still on your cel phone. You never took one minute to greet your child and ask him about his day.
Do you have any idea how you must be making your son feel? I'll tell you this, I am only an observer and it hurt me to watch you. I can only imagine it hurts tenfold when it is you who is being ignored by the one person whose love you should be able to count on at the end of a long day at school.
Shame on you, lady. Put your damn cel phone away and be present in your own life.

reminders

sit up straight
eat more vegi's
stretch
go for a walk
sleep enough
breath, and breath again
see the wide view
stop at one cup, one glass
smile
drink enough water
watch your mouth
stop worrying so much
listen
love
do

The growing season is upon us!

Yippee! This year, I have a sun room to start my seeds in. I can hardly believe my luck on this one. My thumbs are so green, I have to hide them in my pockets so I don't get mistaken for Fiona! I have been itching to get into some soil of my own for so long... last year I spent my time in other people's gardens, this year I am all mine. And, the biggest bonus, the soil here is organic, has always been organic and will always be organic.
I have already started spinach, basil (3 kinds), oregano, sage, cilantro, chamomile and zinnias (2 kinds). I have many, many more varieties to get started. From past experience, I know how much food I can grow in a season with a big garden. We won't have to buy fresh veggies or herbs from July through November if I don't have any major pest or disease issues. I plan to return to my roots and do some canning. Although, they should call it jarring... We need to get used to eating in season and being more self sufficient. The economy is so fragile and I don't want my family to go without good nutrition if hubs loses his job.
By the end of this weekend, I hope to have most of my pots filled with soil. It's quite a task, considering that I have over 200 pots. For the last 6 years, I've only been able to grow my garden in pots, so I have accumulated quite a collection. Even my plants have been packed and ready to go at a moments notice! Now, I will use the bulk of them to decorate the sprawling decks outside. I plan to use the not-so-pretty ones for seed starting and giving. I suppose I could sell some, too, if the need arose. One paycheck at a time!
I am just so excited to get growing. There is nothing like planting a seed and watching that seed sprout into gorgeous green, reaching up to the sky and bursting with life. I never never get tired of this cycle. I will be watching 1,000s of them over the next 2 months and each and every one will be a gift of life that I am very, very thankful for.

Reason # 435 why I don't want this bill

The Orthodontist called this morning to let me know that Mass Health has denied the claim for my 14 year old's braces. Yes, he needs them. No question about it, two docs have confirmed that fact. But, the insurance that the state of Massachusetts FORCES me to have refuses to pay any part of the bill. Awesome. Thank you to my government, once again, for a job undone.
Of course, now I can appeal. I have 30 days and then they have 6 months to get back to me and let me know if their "panel" has changed their mind. I think it's crazy to put our government in control of our health care. Absolutely fucking insane.

Once again

Those motherfuckers in Washington. They knew that 70% off America DID NOT WANT this bill passed and they looked right past us all and did it anyway. Well, the Democrats did. The elections coming up in November are going to be filled with Dems gone Independent as a last ditch hope to hang on to office. No, sorry, I don't think so. And, all you Democrats out there should be outraged, too. They took advantage of their lucky party majority and screwed the American people out of even more of our hard earned dollars, AGAIN! How much of this are we going to take?
Please please someone out there tell me why I have to tighten my belt when times get tough and my government gets to spend more and just keep on taking.
Hello?
Anyone?

there will be none of that

Why don't I ever give myself the same considerations and acceptance that I give to every other human being on this planet? I don't really want the answer, but the question was asked again loudly yesterday. (only by me and in my own head, of course) It seems that no matter how much I do in a day, I never feel like it's enough. There's always at least one thing that should have been done. Where am I even getting this "should have" BS I do not know, and it is driving me to the brink.
I know I should be glad that I am so high energy, but it's fucking exhausting.

professional development day

I had a meeting with the 8th grade team yesterday. As it turns out, my son is intelligent and witty beyond his years. His teachers love him and are impressed with his ability to grasp very adult concepts, especially politics and world issues. This was no meeting to discuss behavior. He is friendly, helpful, and participates in class. However, he is failing or nearly failing most of his classes because he refuses to do homework. He has actually told teachers "I don't do homework." I have fought this fight at home for so long and I am growing weary
If he chooses not to do his school work, there is no real consequence to him and he knows that. We have taken away every privilege possible and he could care less. Take away the video games and tv and he'll do word searches and play legos. No graduation ceremony? Please, "that crap is so lame". So, he has chosen to do the bare minimum, fail a couple classes he finds uninteresting and accept the punishments without flinching. And, there's not a thing any of us can do about it.
That was one hell of a school meeting, unlike Any other I've ever had, and I have had plenty (thanks, J). Usually, the teachers have all sorts of suggestions to get the boy back on track. Not this time. They actually recognize that N has the ability and the means and just needs grow some more. He'll be in honors classes next year anyway, because they know who he is and what 8th grade can be for even the most brilliant children.
Finally, this battle is over.