Thursday, December 2, 2010

can't complain

I love the flow of things this time of year. The house smells amazing all the time. Wood stove, fresh pine, and something always on the stove. All three boys are in great moods, excited for the spoils to come. I am happy and proud to provide all that they will hold dear. I wear an apron more often than not.
Inevitably, one of our cars breaks down and it's an expensive repair. This year it's my turn, a heater core and no wheels for nearly a week. I could rent a car, but I won't. It's birthday and Christmas season and we do not use credit around here.
Either CAN afford it or we CAN'T. (the absolute secret to financial freedom)
SO, I had the privilege of staying at home and cooking and cleaning my brains out without and place else to go. Other parents had to do the driving to and fro for football. Good stuff. No guilt. The house is ready for the upcoming holiday and so am I.
I took long walks, doing 6 miles instead of 4 one morning with my sister. It is so great to connect with her and be able to exercise at the same time. Mena loves it, too. It's multi-tasking in hyperdrive and with love, what I like to call "killing all the birds".
Life is good. I am remembering to be thoughtful, aware, and purposeful. and eat breakfast. Oatmeal! I am forcing it down because I know it makes good cold weather fuel for my morning. It has become ritual before my morning walk. It's fucking cold out there these days! In the 20's! I feel pretty good about myself just for getting out the door and if I can put on a couple miles, I know my mind and body will be in shape for the rigors of my day.
I'm dealing with teenagers and trying to maintain a sense of humor and still remain intact to steer the ship. I'm staying calm with a little help from NPR, online scrabble, tea and fresh air.
I'm such a nerd. Trying not to be is such hard work and I am just not interested. Sorry, kids.I'm enjoying the opportunity to do what I please. I wish the pay was better! Ah well... it's the same old American lamentation. Money can't buy you love. Money changes everything. Money is the root of all evil. bla bla bla
This week, I am excited to finish the outdoor decorating. I get these ideas and then poor roomie has to drag around a ladder and all the patience he can muster while I pretend we are decorating for a magazine shoot. I love to be proud of my home and the way it looks and feels. Roomie thanked me last night for creating "this" and he held out his arms, signally... well, everything. That's a moment I'll treasure and try to recall this week while I'm in line at the mall. While he could never be the everything I want, he is atleast knowing I am useful and even important. How I miss my love...T

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