another annoying American language trend

Adding "just sayin'" to the end of any sentence you deem to be clever and/or interesting.
Stop it, America, you sound so dumb.
Go get the dictionary (dictionary.com) and look up redundant. It's not good.

What they don't tell you

... is that once you start using a nose hair trimmer (that your ex got you for xmass as a cruel joke the year you split up), you can never stop or you will look like a neanderthal. Your nose hairs will be known and seen from far and wide, as they wrap the outside of your nostrils and proceed to reach and cover your eyes and lips. Small children may go missing, only to be found as adults tangled up in hair, hanging from your nose.

I think I remember a similar realization after I began plucking my eyebrows. Someone told me I should pluck them, I listened, and now I am subjected to a life of tweezers, wax, or cave woman style.

Tre' shit

Less is more

We don't need so much stuff.
8 years "clean" this month.
I feel a lot better and my life looks a lot better, too.
Reduce, reuse, recycle.
No action without thought.
I am proud.

aw, dang

I wanted badly to stay awake long enough to watch the 20/20 with Jaycee Dugard. I am so curious about this woman. I want to know what 18 years of captivity look like on some one's face.
No such luck, though, I crashed somewhere between the wrongly accused and the justly accused.
aw, dang
I'm old now. I go to bed early and get up early. I love the end of the day just as much as I love the beginning. The middle... well, it's the middle, so what can it be? It's full and bloated and pulling me down by my ankles almost every time it comes around.
aw, dang

Last night, instead of washing my brain away on the sensationalism and exploitation of a kidnap victim, I went to bed early. I got my 7 1/2 hours of needed sleep and woke rested and ready for my day.
atta girl
My days are so full of excitement and travel! I am lucky to have something to do at every moment, for there is never time to be bored. I have so many people around me, I have no fear of being lonely. I am so lucky to have such a large network of personalities to color my days!
atta girl

My government

My government

keeps lying to me, over and over

keeps taking more and more of my money and then giving it to others and telling me that's the right way to do things

helps so many other countries, they seem to have little left for me and my neighbors

drives a shiny new car every year and loads it with every option available, while I drive a 10 year old truck

decorates it's houses in the most expensive fabrics and furniture, while I bargain shop secondhand stores and count pennies

wants to tell me whether or not I can have a mammogram before age 50, or the treatment for breast cancer after age 40

is getting too big for me

Here's something I saw the other day

My dear friend is ending a relationship. She's packing up all her stuff and moving back home to mom's. Her ex-husband has just remarried and he and his pregnant wife are coming to pick up her daughter to take her to a family occasion. On this busy and life altering day, not only is she watching another friend's daughter, but she's packing and moving everything she owns. It's a shitty, long day at noon, and there are 5 or more hours left to go.
In the midst of it all, after her custody has been changed to give her the lesser amount of time with her 10 year old, she is supposed to be putting her daughter's hair into a sweet little ponytail and have her all gussied up to go at the demand of her ex-husband's new wife. It's moving day, but she has a more important occasion, so you better step to it!
When they arrive, the wicked stepmother can only ask "Did she shower?!" No, but she has combed her hair and she's ready to go. "Ugh! I guess we'll have to pull it back into a ponytail on the way." Eyes rolling and angry toned. Bitchy at best.
What the fuck? Can you please have some goddamn empathy for this woman who is so kind hearted and going through such a rough time in her life. She's doing the best she can and you are so judgemental and mean. If you were so concerned about her hair, you should have just shut your yap and taken care of it in the car, without saying a word. How do you think it makes that little girl feel when you talk like that about her?
Did you see your kid's hair going to school today? Sticking up all over the place, you bad bad mother! Get the fuck over yourself, will you?

The insensitive bitch diet plan

It's cruel, but it works.
*inspired by weight loss info-mercial "six week body makeover"*
Are you overweight? Depressed? I have created a simple plan that will cure you of these evils and grant you a happy, healthy life.
Ready?
Get off your ass.
Stop eating like a pig. Read serving sizes and measure that shit out for a nice wake-up call. I dare you.
Calories = energy. If you aren't doing any physical activity (shame on you) you need to adjust the calories/energy you are putting in to match the activity level going out. Again, get off your ass.
Don't ever drive to anything that's less than a half mile from you. Get out of your car and do some walking.
Never ever eat anything that you can order without leaving you're car. If you're too lazy to get out of your car to get it, you shouldn't be eating at all! You do not need fuel to sit on your ass any more than your car needs gas to sit in the driveway. Food, after all, is intended as fuel first.
Stop making excuses. You have the time. You have the means. You are lying if you say otherwise.
Buy my plan and be fit and healthy. You will lose weight and feel less depressed. Sun will actually hit your face and you will like it. Avocados taste better than potato chips. You're a better cook than you think. Garlic loves you.
Call in the next ten minutes and I will give you this shit free!
Oh... wait, I just did.
This has been a public service message funded by common sense$$