Time for a change

Sometimes, things that used to fit, don't fit anymore.
That's all.
I'm just not one of those people with a whole lot of sentimentality. I've lost people and things and survived it all. What you don't survive is the loss of yourself. I don't look back on the lost books and art supplies with sadness. I am just so damn glad to not have to lug that stuff around anymore. I kinda feel that way about some of the people I have left behind, too.
I know it sounds cold, but really, there are just toxic people and it's good to have them gone. You can't love every human you meet with unconditional understanding. That would make you crazy. (I know firsthand)I have been trying to hard to love love love and I realize now that I was wasting my energy on people I have no common ground with. Did I once? My memory is so shady that I can only think that I must have been going through such a dark time that they seemed like light at the time. My clouds are moving, now, and it feels like there are some people on the edge of those clouds floating slowly away from me.
And, I feel like just waving good bye.

It's not what you think

Are you even thinking at all?
Yes, gay couples want to have the same rights as same sex couples do. And, why not? I'm actually pretty surprised that the voters of a state like CA, which seems so liberal from over here on the East coast, would vote against this in the first place. I guess the Hollywood folks don't have much time for voting. Heck, I would've voted for same sex unions to be given full marital rights.... given the chance. Over here in MA, we didn't even get the luxury of voting.
While the rainbow flags were flying yesterday, our red, white, and blue faded even further off into the distance than those triumphant citizens could see, what with their narrow minded eyes and all. They are cheering to never again be able to vote on such a law. "Yay! My government just took even more of my freedoms from me and at the same time convinced me that it was for my benefit." They should be so embarrassed, as I am of them.
Cue the overalls and straw in my teeth: Us voters, we just aint smart enough to go around makin decisions that effect our lives.
What will you do, then, when you are not allowed to vote on something else...something that maybe hurts you. You can't be fool enough to think you always agree with judges and politicians. Can you?
This was not about gay marriage. Gay marriage was the front used to get you behind the piper. Go along now, little sheep... this won't hurt a bit.

I caught one!

We live in a rural area, next to 1100 acres of wildlife sanctuary. The wildlife is aplenty and I have been battling one wild thing in particular in my gardens. The dreaded woodchuck. He left the beans, ate the plants. Mowed down 100 sunflowers for a mid-day snack. He's the devil in my dirt.
Well, last weekend we bought a hav-a-hart trap and set it out with yummy watermelon. Each day, morning, noon, and night I checked that trap, finger's crossed, hoping to look into the eye of my nemesis.
Yesterday, when D came running in the house yelling that I caught something, I nearly smashed my face into the door trying to get out to see my success! From the top of the hill, I could see the gray little fucker.... wait, grey?
Poor thing.
A sweet little furry grey KITTEN had gone for the fruit and found herself in prison over by the green bean tipi's. Meow.
I rushed over to the cage and opened the door as fast as I could and ZOOM! I never saw anything move so fast. That cat screwed out of my garden and my yard and my life as fast as it could.
Sorry, kitty.
Since when do we have odd cats out here, anyway?
GET IN MY TRAP WOODCHUCK!

HEROK

He's about 1/2" round, filled with green goo that used to be my tomato leaves. Be prepared to lose your appetite, mister.
I'm coming for you.

man oh man

I am overwhelmed with testosterone. OVER-FUCKING-WHELMED.
We are how ever many weeks into summer vacation and I feel like I have to be atleast a mile down the road to breath any real breaths. The ones I take here now are short and shallow and not life-giving at all. I am crushed to the floor and ground with their boasting, needing, agressing, dripping selves over and over all day and into the night. They seek me out so often, that I am reduced to taking nightly "baths", where sometimes I just run the water to be able to sit alone in a room for a half hour. The one weapon I have against their constant approach is my naked body. The threat of such a thing keeps them well at bay. Maybe I should become a nudist.
That'll teach 'em.
Nope, nope it won't. The fact is, this is the reality for a mother of three boys at the ages mine are, living the life I live. I find guilt, naturally, in my hiding in the tub. Of course, I should not feel guilt at all, instead, I should be patting myself on the back for giving myself these moments and not strangling those boys. I'm not sure (MOM) where the guilt comes from, but it always comes.
I need a day off from the never ending need machine and I will take it, guilt free. Not hearing the noise from the other side of the bathroom walls makes it a whole lot easier to appreciate the time off, especially if there's no false nudity involved.
Or laundry and dirty dishes, none of that either.

love the one's your with

Make "I love you" the last thing you say when you hang up or walk away because you just never know who's not coming back. It's a cruel, cruel world for those who love.
**RIP TS**
I didn't know you at all, except that you were my friend's brother, a father and a husband, a son and a friend, and that you didn't deserve to die before your life was done being lived.

summer home

The real before was peeling splintery wooden slats. Ick. This is the oops! I forgot to take a before pic pic.



ooooooooohhhhhhh.... and the after!
The tile floor is recycled from a job that roomie did. It was a kitchen floor that was about to hit the dumpster and he just couldn't stand the waste. The light colored stone is the perfect floor for our poolside living room. He chipped away the old grout and lay the tile over the course of two days. Love his ingenuity!