Wednesday, May 5, 2010

True Story

Yesterday, when I lifted the rear door of the Jeep to put the recycling bins in, I saw Dedee Pfeiffer's boobs. No lie. There they were, scarcely disguised behind a pair of heart suspenders. The word PLAYBOY is neon pink/orange nearly blinds me. What the hell?
Yep, and upon closer inspection, I discover three more mags just like it, all from 1998-2002. So, I wonder, why are there four Playboys from Jeremy's collection in the back of my Jeep? Was this a conspiracy to embarrass me, a practical joke? I hope so! It would have been very funny if someone else had discovered them... like my mother, or one of the kids. Ha ha funny stuff. I text Jeremy to ask why he put them there. He has no idea what I'm talking about. Uh oh. Who did it then? I ask N and he says he doesn't know. He's a pretty stealthy liar, so I walk away doubtful that I got the correct info. J is already at school, so upon being asked a second time, N say J did it. Hmmm.... throwing it J's way could get you a nice round bruise on your arm... could this be the truth?
In the end, it was N who did it. Apparently, the J and N had a stash of their father's mags in their bathroom and D found it. He was making a lot of noise about them (I never heard a word, but then again,. there are so many words to hear) and had to be silenced. So, N was to hide them from D. J and N decide this is the only way, because the mouth of D cannot be silenced, even with duct tape and threats. (they've tried both) N thought it a good idea to throw them into the back of my Jeep. Why? I don't know. He doesn't know. He's 14 and his hormones have taken over. It's kind of funny to watch them be so ridiculous. And, a little scary.
In the end, Jeremy didn't notice the mags were missing and didn't care to get them back. "too many fake blondes with fake tits. no tiny asians."
Great, there's another 5 years of therapy.
Isn't family life fun?

1 comment:

Ms.C said...

I snorted. :)