serving size

I have heard people say "you eat like a bird" or tease me for being thin after having three children. Go ahead, tease me. I'm not a super exercise nut. I don't eat just hand fulls of granola and berries. I eat EVERYTHING. I love food! I spend a good deal of my day thinking about it, preparing it, cooking it, serving it and cleaning up after the whole mess of it. I will eat Greek, Italian, Japanese, (sorry, "American" food just sucks) seafood, red meat, vegetarian, hot, spicy, sour, cold, sweet, salty... I do not exaggerate when I say that I love it all... there is nothing (aside from worms, I think) that I will not try at least twice.
Here's the thing. I get portion sizes. I don't fill up a 12" round platter with food and eat it all. Why would I want a 12" ball protruding from my waist? And it's as simple as that. Eat the size that you want your belly to be and it will be that size. I eat that size 5 times a day (6 if pms). I'm not missing anything. I eat cake sometimes. And mashed potatoes. Mostly, though, I eat fruit, vegetables, lean meat, seafood, whole grains and nuts.
Humus is a big favorite of mine. The picture above is a serving size for one person. It's 1/2 pita bread and 2 tbs. of red pepper humus. I use small unique plates to enhance the eating experience, since a standard serving is usually dwarfed on a typical American dinner plate. I prefer Japanese tableware and one of a kind clay. The above plate can be found here http://mudpuppypotteryworks.com/. She's not only a talented artist, but she ships super fast and is a sweetheart! I got two of the sushi sets (plate and dipping bowl) and they are my favorites!

the plastic

She's walking up the winding dirt driveway, lined with snow covered Pine and Maple trees... there is a layer of freshly fallen fluffy white snow on everything. The mountain is barely visible, off in the distance, behind clouds of swirling snow in the air. It is a most beautiful New England winter afternoon and she knows how lucky she is to have the leisure to enjoy it. Until she rounds the corner.
What a shame it is that all she can see in this gorgeous winter scene is the green plastic trash barrel and bright blue plastic slide off in the distance by the pool. Plastic... the material that can cause itching just by being in her line of sight. This "miracle" material that came of age in her lifetime and kept her father employed during most of her life.
She squints. Still, the blur of colors show through. A chill up the spine and that moment that always comes next... the realization the plastic is impossible to eliminate from her life, no matter how repulsive it is. What can be done? Will someone build me a wooden trash barrel with a cover and wheels? Can we faux paint the slide to look like wood? Can we just fill the pool with compost and soil and grow some nice organic vegetables?
These are ridiculous questions, of course. What else could come from this ridiculous girl?

flatlined

Uninspired, unmotivated and just plain bored.
Any suggestions?

rant

You cant just say something and that makes it so. You don't go around pretending to have all this knowledge and teaching it like it's fact and then when the shit hits the fan, "Oops... I guess I was wrong". Well, where did you get your information? "Oh, I just thought it." Oh, OK, you, the fucking rocket scientist "thought" it, so that makes it so.
Do some fucking research. Learn something for fuck sake! No one knows everything! Stop trying so hard to look smart and BE FUCKING SMART.

use less words

listen more.

Uh oh

I think I may be having some mid life "crisis".
I think about my own mortality all the time. What have I done in this life" If I get hit by a mack truck today, what will I be remembered by. My garlic dip? Shit. I've done nothing but make really good soup. Sure, I made three boys, but almost any uterus can do that! What they have become so far isn't something I can take 100% credit for. WE mold them, and they mold themselves.
Oh, god, I hate this kind of thinking. I laughed when my brother pierced his ear and bought a convertable mustang that his three kids barely fit into. He even grew a ponytail! I wonder what I will do...
For now, I'm in the over-thinking, sad stage. I'm in mourning for my youth. I can't believe I'm almost 40! What happened to my twenties? And my thirties are just racing by, too! Slow down!
When I was young, I thought that I would be above all this worrying. I would live forever and tomorrow would always be there. I miss that ignorance.

gone to the dogs

As it turns out, the word "no" was pretty easy to ad to the daily parental vocabulary. And, I sure have been doing a lot less driving in the last week. Pretty sweet. That isn't to say that the kiddos didn't get to where they wanted to go, it's just that I didn't have anything to do with it. You see, we are a two parent household. There's a "we" here and the other half of the we has been driving all over. I am curious to see when this will end. A man who commutes to the Bean daily cannot be expected to then get in the car as soon as he arrives home and all weekend long, too. I saw a look on his face last night, just before the trip to Rutland, that I have seen on my own time and time again. Dread, keys in hand.
See, man, that's why I quit. Nobody should look like that on a Friday night.
This was a very interesting week for me. On Monday, I adopted another American Bulldog. Her name was Sasha, now Zsa Zsa, and she is about 8 months old. She's sweet as pie and has the squishiest bulldoggy face I have ever seen. Adding a dog when there is already one takes some work. Pack order has to be determined. I am the leader and I expect Mena to take the roll of #2 and Zsa to be #3. For now, I have to be vigilant and ready with corrections and praise so that I will have good, obedient dogs. Sounds easy. I know better.
I do love a challenge... and, I am on this mission to be good and do good. What's one more dog? Ha!
Last year I made so many changes... mostly to my diet. And, of course, to my wardrobe. No real need for purple suede boots when you're lugging firewood through the snow. I started last year in that dusty old building, stuffed in the windowless corner with a shanty of an old metal desk. Toxic environment all around. Now, I breath the freshest fresh air every day and I am my own boss. The last decade was hard hard hard, but it ended on a positive note and I am ready for more. This year, I will continue to eat well. We're going to be eating local, grass fed beef instead of the shit at the grocery store. Shit... it's what's for dinner! There's a farm in Barre that we plan to visit this weekend. Another in Gardner. We will have a garden this year, but I also want to buy shares of a local organic CSA for spring crops. We are moving in the right direction! (although, some of us wish we could just visit the chips and soda aisle like everyone else. Sorry, kids)
I am also going to try to let myself be and stop being so critical of every little thing I do. Awareness is one thing, but that was a resolution eons ago and I have taken it way to far, as usual.